Hey, did you know that Justice O'Connor spoke to Florida legislators today? And she said something about civics being important and something that should be taught in public schools blah blah blah.

Agreed -- but let's start with teachers and books!

Anyhoo, she also said this about the insightful people that inhabit the Herald letters page:

Far more Americans can name the judges on American Idol than can name the three branches of government, retired U.S. Supreme Court Justice Sandra Day O'Connor told legislators Tuesday in a push for increased civics education.

And then she really hit below the belt:

She said surveys show that three-quarters of Americans cannot distinguish between a judge and a legislator.

''They believe that judges are politicians in robes,'' she said.

You know, I'm an attorney, and even I think that sometimes!

On a serious note, who's fault is this? Budgets are slashed, teachers are severely underpaid, and the schools suffer.

Who the hail cares -- see all 1500 of you at Marlins Stadium!

Hi folks, hope you all are having a great weekend.

I had to emerge from my weekend reveille to comment on how Miami-Dade's Ballpark has joined that annoying Facebook thingy where you have to list 25 random things about yourself:

Each alpha user annoyingly asked 25 friends to write 25 random things, too, and each of these friends' friends annoyingly asked 25 more, and so on, until this week, when the viral loop catapulted into the bizarro realm: 25 Random Things About Me, by Miami-Dade's Ballpark.

No. 2: ``None of the money used in my construction can go to other government services like education, police, public housing or parks. It's state law!''

No. 19: ``I'm ready for my close-up: I'll have some great views of the Miami skyline from the stands, which should be great for showing off the city during nationally televised games.''

No. 25: ``I'm beloved already.''

If this stadium were a person -- close-talking, unfunny, boastful but discomfitingly insecure -- you might de-friend.

And you might suspect that these Things About Me are not random at all. You might suspect that, coming a few days before the Miami and Miami-Dade County commission votes on the stadium deal, they read more like propaganda encouraging public support for a yes vote.

(Miami commissioners approved the stadium in a 3-2 vote Thursday; county commissioners will vote Monday.)

''This is not information,'' said Commissioner Carlos Gimenez, who opposes the deal. He claimed 11 of the 25 Random Things were inaccurate, and seemed unlikely to forward the list to 25 Facebook friends. ``When you put something down that says Miami-Dade County, it shouldn't just be a puff piece like this.''

No puffiness, said county spokeswoman Marie Bertot: ''It's not so much selling an idea as communicating information,'' she said. ``It's a way to disseminate accurate information and reduce those misconceptions out there.''

Oy. This is like when your Uncle crashed your high school party and tried to show all your friends how "hip" he is. And hit on your girlfriend.

Please stop.

In other news, here is another example of a governmental entity doing the wrong thing, litigating for no good reason, and having to pay a lot more as a result. By not coming to the table early and reaching a reasonable resolution, they incurred significant fees, paid a larger amount, and had to cover the plaintiffs' fees too as a result of a 3d DCA ruling on liability.

That's South Florida for you. Continue to make the same dumb mistakes and hope no one notices.

Well, it's almost Spring so enjoy this lovely seasonal ditty by Tom Lehrer and we'll see you all tomorrow!

You know the drill -- peanuts and Crackerjack, America's pastime, Babe Ruth, a desperately poor city going further in depth to fund a privately-owned stadium that will be outmoded the second it opens (the county bond repayment in 2044 -- when the stadium is 30 plus years old -- will be $144 million) etc.

Now add this sweet tale of a Miami girl, a baseball, and my pal Norm Kent:

A Florida girl who grabbed a historic home run ball hit by Philadelphia Phillies slugger Ryan Howard has her prize back after suing the team for its return.

The July home run against the Florida Marlins was Howard's 200th. He achieved that milestone in the fewest games in major league history.

After 12-year-old Jennifer Valdivia scooped up the ball, she was escorted to the Phillies clubhouse, then exchanged it for an autographed ball.

The girl's mother filed a lawsuit Monday seeking the home run ball's return. Lawyer Norm Kent says the Phillies agreed and now Jennifer has the ball back.

The Phillies declined comment on Wednesday.

Normie, helping children achieve their dreams of selling the ball on Ebay, one child at a time.

We're glad you're feeling better Norm!

Hey Marlins stadium supporters (that would be Dave Samson and....uh, Dave Samson), here's how we do accountability in Miami-Dade County:

Miami-Dade County commissioners on Tuesday are expected to dramatically loosen the rules over the government's use of the half-cent local sales tax for transportation.

Proponents inside County Hall say the government needs the additional flexibility as Mayor Carlos Alvarez's administration continues ''right-sizing'' Miami-Dade Transit with fewer workers and less bus and rail service.

But opponents say the changes represent the last chapter in a ''bait-and-switch'' with voters who supported the sales tax expecting a massive expansion in rail and bus service, synchronized traffic lights, thousands of jobs and independent citizen oversight.

''It's going to be viewed as a money grab and a bait-and-switch. There's no way around it,'' said Paul Schwiep, a Miami lawyer and appointee to the neutered oversight panel, the Citizens Independent Transportation Trust.

HAHAHAHA -- oh boy that's a knee-slapper, Paul Schwiep on a "neutered" oversight panel.

Oh man.

Hmm, now that I think of it, the laugh's on us:

As a Miami Herald series pointed out last year, instead of ''New Money for New Projects,'' the bulk of the $900 million that has been generated to date has been spent on routine transit agency operations, higher salaries and to repair the underfunded problems of yesteryear.

Proponents, including Commission Chairman Dennis Moss and Transit Committee chairwoman Barbara Jordan, say the county has tried for more than six years to fulfill all of the promises of the 2002 campaign.

Moss said the county admitted its missteps at a highly unusual daylong ''summit'' in November and that now is the time to move forward with a more realistic set of expectations for future expansion.

The problem: The county still doesn't have enough money to operate and maintain the current system without raising fares and billions of dollars in additional taxes over the next 30 years.

A handful of transportation advocates have protested the changes. They are holding out faint hopes that someone will organize a referendum to repeal the tax. But nothing formal has surfaced to date.

If the measure is approved on Tuesday, the county would:

• No longer be bound to complete the multibillion dollar list of rail, bus, road and public works projects in the People's Transportation Plan that voters approved in 2002.

• No longer have to provide a painstaking accounting of how much sales-tax money is being used by the transit agency for everything from repair parts and bug-killing contracts to office rental payments.

• Give the government a lot more flexibility in determining how to blend sales-tax revenues into the budgets of the transit agency and other county departments like public works, the 311 call center and the General Services Administration.

Who needs public transit anyways -- this is the 21st Century!! We can all fly around in jet cars, and jet packs, and -- I don't know -- horse-drawn "jet" carts?

I love the future.

Boy I'd love to negotiate with Miami Mayor Manny Diaz:

But buried deep inside the hundreds of pages that make up the pending stadium deal are nine easy-to-miss words that form a stipulation quickly becoming known as The Death Clause.

It says if Loria dies in those seven years and the team is sold, the public's equity in the team is wiped out.

That means if Loria, 68, left the team to a relative, who then sold the ball club, the heir would get the money otherwise destined for government coffers. The amount could be in the tens of millions of dollars.

In that case, taxpayers would lose the only direct financial return on their 81 percent investment in the estimated $634 million stadium, parking and public-works project.

Hmm, that seems pretty bad. Let's hear from Hizzoner:

Through a spokeswoman, Miami Mayor Manny Diaz called the clause a ''technicality'' -- and pointed out that even if Loria dies, it doesn't necessarily mean the team would be sold within seven years.

Yeah, it's really just a bunch of letters, which form into a series of words. Who the hail cares? Besides, everyone knows mumbo-jumbo "technicalities" are totally unenforceable!

Enjoy this pretzel logic from the Roger Ebert of baseball, Dave Samson:

Loria insisted on the clause, Samson said. But the debate is much ado about nothing, he added, because he expects Loria to outlive the clause's term.

Well, if it's much ado about nothing, why insist on the clause? And if Samson's now doing Loria's actuarial tables and is so sure he's going to live more than seven years, then he should have no problem dropping the clause?

You can read Linda Carroll's lawsuit challenging the deal on Sunshine Act grounds here.

Boy, February is always a bad time to be at a big firm, what with collection issues, reviews etc. but it's especially bad this year, huh? You can add Mike Casey's Epstein Becker to the list of firms that fired lawyers yesterday:

Here is a summary of jobs lost yesterday:

Bryan Cave: 58 lawyers and 76 staffers

Cozen O’Connor: 61 staffers

Dechert: 19 lawyers

DLA Piper: 80 lawyers and 100 staffers

Epstein Becker & Green: 23 lawyers and 30 staffers

Faegre & Benson: 29 lawyers

Goodwin Procter: 38 lawyers and 36 staffers

Holland & Knight: 70 lawyers and 173 staffers

In other fun math news, I see how the planned expenditure of Miami-Dade taxes to build that spiffy new Marlins stadium will total $1.8 billion over 40 years. That's just what's planned.

This includes a whoppin' planned county bond repayment of $144 million in 2044.

So when this already obsolete stadium is 32 years old, taxpayers will still be shelling out $144 million for construction that occurred more than three decades ago.

Oh no, here's comes another ode to Roberto (sung to the tune of Jenny/8675309):

Roberto, Roberto who can I turn to
You give me something I can hold on to
I know you'll think I'm like the others before
Who saw your lawsuit in front of Judge Cohen
Roberto I've got your number
You need to save our town
Roberto don't change your number
4 7 6-7 4 0 0 (4 7 6-7 4 0 0)
4 7 6-7 4 0 0 (4 7 6-7 4 0 0)

Roberto, Roberto you're the only lawyer for me
You don't know me but you make me so happy
I tried to co-counsel with you before
But I lost my nerve
I tried negotiating with Bruce Greer
But Judge Cohen wouldn't let me
Roberto I've got your number
You need to save this town
Roberto don't change your number
4 7 6-7 4 0 0 (4 7 6-7 4 0 0)
4 7 6-7 4 0 0 (4 7 6-7 4 0 0)

I got it (I got it), I got it
I got your number on my phone
I got it (I got it), I got it
To save our county call
Roberto don't change your number
You need to save this town
Roberto I've got your number
4 7 6-7 4 0 0 (4 7 6-7 4 0 0)
4 7 6-7 4 0 0 (4 7 6-7 4 0 0)

Ain't numbers fun?

So, how many of you woke up this morning and found out you were a Super Lawyer? Ahhh, that packet is so cute!

I'm shocked -- shocked -- to learn that the County did not negotiate a very good deal to spend hundreds of millions of tax dollars building a new stadium for the Marlins:

''It's probably not the best deal that has ever been worked out between a community and a team,'' Miami-Dade Mayor Carlos Alvarez said after his State of the County speech on Tuesday.

You think?

Just ask this lady, after learning of an additional $56 million slashed from the schools budget, which has already suffered more than $300 million in cuts this year alone:

Linda Cohen, a 55-year-old reading teacher at North Miami Beach Senior High School, said the plan was ``insult to injury.''

''We're not just talking about two days,'' said Cohen, whose home was foreclosed on two weeks ago. ``We're talking about what it's doing to our families all over the county.''

But I bet she's a huge Marlins fan!

Has anyone else noticed the similarities between Dave Samson and David Spade's character from The Coneheads movie? Hard to decide who's more unctuous -- ok, it's a tie.

Interesting fact -- did you know the nude beach at Haulover outdraws the Marlins and Dolphins combined?

Hey, facts are funny things.

Oh Roberto! Roberto Roberto Roberto!! Come save us Roberto!

I'm reminded of that great Rudyard Kipling line from The English Flag:

Ye have but my breath to dare,
Ye have but my waves to conquer. Go forth, for it is there!"

Holy hail Roberto Martinez, go forth, for it is there!