Boy I'd love to negotiate with Miami Mayor Manny Diaz:

But buried deep inside the hundreds of pages that make up the pending stadium deal are nine easy-to-miss words that form a stipulation quickly becoming known as The Death Clause.

It says if Loria dies in those seven years and the team is sold, the public's equity in the team is wiped out.

That means if Loria, 68, left the team to a relative, who then sold the ball club, the heir would get the money otherwise destined for government coffers. The amount could be in the tens of millions of dollars.

In that case, taxpayers would lose the only direct financial return on their 81 percent investment in the estimated $634 million stadium, parking and public-works project.

Hmm, that seems pretty bad. Let's hear from Hizzoner:

Through a spokeswoman, Miami Mayor Manny Diaz called the clause a ''technicality'' -- and pointed out that even if Loria dies, it doesn't necessarily mean the team would be sold within seven years.

Yeah, it's really just a bunch of letters, which form into a series of words. Who the hail cares? Besides, everyone knows mumbo-jumbo "technicalities" are totally unenforceable!

Enjoy this pretzel logic from the Roger Ebert of baseball, Dave Samson:

Loria insisted on the clause, Samson said. But the debate is much ado about nothing, he added, because he expects Loria to outlive the clause's term.

Well, if it's much ado about nothing, why insist on the clause? And if Samson's now doing Loria's actuarial tables and is so sure he's going to live more than seven years, then he should have no problem dropping the clause?

You can read Linda Carroll's lawsuit challenging the deal on Sunshine Act grounds here.

So, how many of you woke up this morning and found out you were a Super Lawyer? Ahhh, that packet is so cute!

I'm shocked -- shocked -- to learn that the County did not negotiate a very good deal to spend hundreds of millions of tax dollars building a new stadium for the Marlins:

''It's probably not the best deal that has ever been worked out between a community and a team,'' Miami-Dade Mayor Carlos Alvarez said after his State of the County speech on Tuesday.

You think?

Just ask this lady, after learning of an additional $56 million slashed from the schools budget, which has already suffered more than $300 million in cuts this year alone:

Linda Cohen, a 55-year-old reading teacher at North Miami Beach Senior High School, said the plan was ``insult to injury.''

''We're not just talking about two days,'' said Cohen, whose home was foreclosed on two weeks ago. ``We're talking about what it's doing to our families all over the county.''

But I bet she's a huge Marlins fan!

Has anyone else noticed the similarities between Dave Samson and David Spade's character from The Coneheads movie? Hard to decide who's more unctuous -- ok, it's a tie.

Interesting fact -- did you know the nude beach at Haulover outdraws the Marlins and Dolphins combined?

Hey, facts are funny things.

Oh Roberto! Roberto Roberto Roberto!! Come save us Roberto!

I'm reminded of that great Rudyard Kipling line from The English Flag:

Ye have but my breath to dare,
Ye have but my waves to conquer. Go forth, for it is there!"

Holy hail Roberto Martinez, go forth, for it is there!