Ervin, I spent the requisite 3.7 hours attempting to get through your full two-page ad on pages 14 and 15 of the December 1st Florida Bar News. After several brief naps and thirty-two shots of cafecito, I persevered and made it to the end.

In it, you set forth a detailed and thoughtful agenda for change if elected as President-Elect of the Florida Bar. You already know you have my support.

But I paid particular attention to your section on technology:

"My administration will take advantage of the technological advances that have been made in recent years and provide greater access to electronic filing of court documents, internet seminars, teleconferencing meetings and interactive web based seminars and programs for Florida lawyers."

Recently we saw how you pretty much own YouTube.

So naturally I went to your website electervingonzalez.com, expecting it to be nearly as neat as the new Avatar interactive trailer and here's what I found:

Web Site Coming Soon

Huh?

Umm, that's ok -- you have a very busy practice I'm sure you'll get your IT guy to put something up soon.

Then I saw in your ad you mention your Twitter account so of course I wanted to get your "tweets" and follow you like I do Meghan McCain and Sarah Silverman but here's what I found:

We couldn't find anyone named Ervin A. Gonzalez.

Now that's odd.

When I put it "Ervin Gonzalez" this is what comes up:

Did you mean erwin gonzalez?

We couldn't find anyone named Ervin Gonzalez.

Listen, I don't want to fly off the handle and accuse your opponent of an internet-savvy "dirty-tricks" campaign or anything (that would involve me having to look up who your opponent is, for one thing).

But something is rotten in cyberspace, dude.

Ervin (alright, you too Mr. Erstwhile Opponent), you are more than welcome to use this limited plot of intertubular real estate to make your case to the good lawyers and judges of South Florida -- or at least the ones who spend way too much time screwing around on here.

Play nice, fellas!

Hi kids, sorry to pull a Badluck Schleprock on you all but did you know that advertisers know all about your little Crackberry messaging and intertube surfing habits:

Smartphones, like the iPhone and BlackBerry Curve, are the latest and potentially most extensive way for advertisers to aim ads at certain consumers. Advertisers already tailor ads for small groups of consumers on the Web based on personal information. But cellphones have a much higher potential for personalized advertising, especially when they use applications like Yelp or Urbanspoon with GPS to identify a person’s location, right down to the street corner where they are standing.

Advertisers will pay high rates for the ability to show, for example, ads for a nearby restaurant to someone leaving a Broadway show, especially when coupled with information about the gender, age, finances and interests of the consumer.

Eswar Priyadarshan, the chief technology officer of Quattro Wireless, which places advertising for clients like Sony on mobile sites, says he typically has 20 pieces of information about a customer who has visited a site or played with an application in his network. “The basic idea is, you go through all these channels, and you get as much data as possible,” he said.

The capability for collecting information has alarmed privacy advocates.

“It’s potentially a portable, personal spy,” said Jeff Chester, the executive director of the Center for Digital Democracy, who will appear before Federal Trade Commission staff members this month to brief them on privacy and mobile marketing. He is particularly concerned about data breaches, advertisers’ access to sensitive health or financial information, and a lack of transparency about how advertisers are collecting data. “Users are going to be inclined to say, sure, what’s harmful about a click, not realizing that they’ve consented to give up their information.”

Question for you civil litigators -- if advertisers can obtain that kind of personal information, don't you think opposing parties could seek to discover it as well?

Which all leads me to this very important Twitter policy announcement:

Henceforth I will only send Twitter messages that consist, in whole or in part, of texts sent to or from former Detroit Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick.

Thank you for your cooperation.