Well you know what they say -- "Halloween is for windsurfing" -- so I am going to cut out of here early and catch some glistening, chocolate-covered waves all afternoon.

Before I go, I see my crazy-eyed zoftig birther mama caught some more federal judicial flak today, this time coming from C.D. CA Judge David O. Carter, who wrote:

"Plaintiffs have attacked the judiciary, including every prior court that has dismissed their claim, as unpatriotic and even treasonous for refusing to grant their requests and for adhering to the terms of the Constitution which set forth its jurisdiction. Respecting the constitutional role and jurisdiction of this Court is not unpatriotic."

No, it just means you too had a little visit from an olive-skinned Eric Holder lookalike at the courthouse coffeeshop.

(BTW, I had no idea Alan Keyes was a plaintiff in the above suit -- talk about the loony leading the crazy.)

Then we have Hunton & Williams, which filed an odd suit on behalf of the US Chamber of Commerce against some pranksters who spoofed their position on climate change the other day.

You can read Hunton lawyer Richard L. Wyatt Jr.'s masterwork here.

Someone remind me -- what's that new opinion on pleading standards again?

In local news, Coral Springs attorney Scott Salomon was finally disbarred.

He certainly gave us plenty of good material over the years (see here and here) so we wish him (not to mention his former clients) farewell and godspeed.

I don't know about you, but like any good deputy assistant AG, I too have a goody bag of things "just in case." But dude -- in a cemetery?

Guess it is that time of the year.

And like many of you, I thought of some costume ideas so I put a few up there for your consideration -- guess which one I'm going as? (NO HINTS!)

Finally, remember whatever you do this weekend to think young, get a good night's rest, and since it's Halloween, get your blood on.

Have a great weekend everybody!

Listen, I understand it's not a good thing to publish Social Security numbers or other personal information in public forums (hey, that's what Facebook is for!), so I get why CM/ECF has recently started to highlight that issue.

But every single time you log in? You mean we all will have to separately click that box for the rest of our legal career, every single time, every single day we try to access PACER -- perhaps thousands upon thousands of times?

I guess we really are that dumb.

Totally unrelated -- did you hear Sarah Palin is going to speak at a real college? It's something called College of the Ozarks and its nickname seriously is "Hard Work U."

According to the school's student handbook (portion highlighted above), this may be one of the few decadent, sicko liberal fornicatin' colleges that even George L. Metcalfe can get down with.

Since we're on the topic of God-given sexuality, does the public option turn you on? I was kinda lukewarm on it, but I suddenly have a strong interest in its passage now that it is literally personified by the lovely Heather Graham.

I hope everyone has had a chance to read the motion for rehearing en banc that was just filed regarding the recent ILSA opinion by the 11th Circuit. It minces no words, and argues flatly that the Panel decision "was the result of obvious bias."

Finally, speaking of alleged bias, this Orly Taitz is one hot crazy mama -- she has granted one of my many wishes and has appealed Judge Land's Rule 11 sanctions order to the 11th Circuit in an unusually detailed notice of appeal.

There are lots of highlights, but here's my favorite part:

Judge Land’s actions that amounted to misstating or misrepresenting ninety percent of what was presented in the pleadings and argument, completely ignoring ninety percent of the argument and facts, making extremely rude and demeaning remarks, showing bias; taken together, appear to be designed to silence her and, intimidate her and above all, punish her for what the Court perceived as political rather than “core” constitutional questions. It appears to be a thinly veiled threat to other attorneys not to pursue similar Constitutional issues, which will have a chilling effect on the ability of the public to use the Federal Court system to uphold their constitutional rights. Judge Land’s remarks amounted to nothing short of political lynching, which turned into feast and celebration by the media mob.

So I guess she's saying Judge Land got 10 percent of it right?

Maybe I'm jaded, but that's not too bad a percentage when you think about it.

Holy hail it feels like Friday.

And read Middle District of Georgia Judge Clay Land's sanctions order against Ms. Birther, California lawyer Orly Taitz (thanks for posting, Marco!).

I particularly like the way Judge Land handles the recusal motion, which is in part based on an affidavit asserting that Judge Land met personally with US Attorney General Eric Holder in a coffee shop across the street from the courthouse:

In support of this accusation, counsel submits the affidavit of Robert D. Douglas. Mr. Douglas states that on the day of the hearing in the Cook case, he saw in the “coffee shop” across the street from the federal courthouse someone whom he recognized as Eric Holder, the Attorney General. Mr. Douglas’s identification is based upon what he describes as the Attorney General’s “distinguishing features: his trim upper lip mustache, not large of stature and general olive complexion.”

It gets much, much better -- in fact, it's a must-read.

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE Orly, if you're listening, take this baby to the 11th Circuit.

(You may have to post a bond first).