Well I hope everyone had a warm, loving, and peaceful Thanksgiving, and is now fighting over deals at Walmart -- that HDTV screen will only be on sale for two more hours!

I wonder if any meaning can be derived by looking at who is representing who in the Rothstein saga.

We know Scottie has loyal Marc Nurik, who recently has been cracking jokes and alternately acting as Scott's public psychologist:

"He did something that, when you think about it, is kind of extraordinary. He goes away to a country that has no extradition treaty with the U.S., reportedly, allegedly has a lot of money at his disposal, and chooses to come back and deal with this … I think because beneath it all, and not withstanding all the things that have been said about him, I believe that he is truly a decent human being, not withstanding flaws. I really do believe he did it out of, a true decent emotion to try to deal with this.''

Again, I have no problem with a public rehabilitation strategy. I just think, in the absence of other positive facts, this strategy is way too premature.

Marc would have you believe at the same time he is denying that Scott is cooperating with the feds and singing like a bird, Rothstein nonetheless has returned to "make everything right." How does that square up?

Rothstein's bankruptcy lawyer is Hinshaw's Michael D. Seese.

I agree with Bob Norman that Bill Scherer's amended complaint is an interesting read but a bit of a mess.

It is 289 pages long and asserts 245 counts. To be honest it reads like a placeholder, an effort to "occupy the field" and get in front of the other civil suits coming down the pike. Somebody at some point definitely needs to edit that thing.

Let's see -- Bob Josefsberg is representing Banyon COO Frank J. Preve -- what could that mean?

Bruce Lehr is representing Big Stu, Fred Haddad has Russ Adler's back, and Neal Sonnett is representing Grant Smith.

Russ even recently appeared in court on behalf of former Judge Seidlin.

It's a small town, huh?

To paraphrase Mark Harris, it seems that Scott Rothstein continues to rule our world.

Here's the latest:

1. Bill Scherer sues the firm he used to retain for collection matters.

Marc Nurik's reaction -- "This is the first I'm hearing of it."

(Check out the email Bob Norman dredged up).

2. Judge Stettin says October was a banner month for the firm, with hundreds of millions moving through RRA accounts.

3. RRA is down from 167 employees to 14.

Who are the lucky ones, those that are gone or those that are still there?

(I hope Brianne Strohsahl has found a nice new home).

4. Romina Sifuentes has not yet "friended" me on Facebook.

Is that any way to start a relationship?

But that's ok.

I've decided to employ these dating tips from 'Mad Men' (note, I am not making this up):

Keep heavy (borderline uncomfortable) eye contact. Speak when only there is little alternative. Learn to say things that are vague. Answer a woman’s question with a question. Make every action deliberate and noticeable, almost in slow motion. Talk in short sentences. Don’t say too much. Don’t give away too much.

Right -- there's no better way to a woman's heart than to act like a brooding, moody psychotic.

Cigar lovers, take note -- Tatuaje, a brand rolled here in Miami and named the hottest cigar in America, has settled its trademark suit with the makers of Montecristo over its use of the fleur-de-lis.

The suit was pending before Judge Moreno and you can read the complaint here.

Speaking of which, another day another $300 million South Florida tobacco verdict.

Well kids, it's that time again and I have some afternoon windsurfing ahead of me to kickstart my weekend.

Remember kids to put a little alcohol on your lips, keep your mishpucha away from this Rabbi, and if you are collecting disability benefits stay the hail off of TV.

Money never sleeps KIDZZZZ

Ok, let's get Rothstein out of the way:

John Pacenti and the Herald report on how Scott allegedly bilked this investor just weeks before he took off for Morocco.

The purported "investment opportunity" is insultingly stupid:

The deal offered a return of eight percent per month for the following four months. It involved a purported lawsuit against California-based Dole, which Faulkner said had settled for $500 million in the face of accusations that it had overstated the percentage of pineapple in juices it sold to school districts.

So this is a secret whistleblower action -- possibly unfiled -- in which Dole forks over a half billion over mislabeling the content of its pineapple juice? And for some reason Dole wants to pay this half billion out over time?

In what imaginary world do cases like this exist?

But you know, the kids still got some juice and that's the important thing.

Oy what a goyisher kup.

But Scottie says he doesn't know this particular investor and I for one believe him:

"I keep seeing names on the Internet who were alleged investors of me and I have no idea who they are,'' Rothstein told The Herald on Thursday. "There are sublayers of people doing very, very bad things to people in my name, so we shall see.''

"Not that I didn't do something wrong, and I'm back here to fix it,'' he said. "I made a decision to come back from Morocco and do the right thing. I know people are laughing and saying he can't repay these people, and they are wrong.''

Marc, why is your client still giving interviews to the Herald?

Also Scott, people are not laughing over whether you can repay the investors -- there's plenty of other things about this fiasco to laugh about, believe me.

Alright, let's move on.

So two lawyers at Mayer Brown recently wrote about County of Nassau v. Hotels.com, where the 2d Circuit raised the issue of CAFA jurisdiction nostra sponte (take that, Latin nerds!) and remanded the case to the district court "to determine whether class certification is appropriate" in order to determine whether CAFA jurisdiction exists.

Jordana Mishory lays out the forfeiture complaint filed against Scott Rothstein in today's DBR:

Prosecutors said they had probable cause to believe the properties “were acquired in connection with a Ponzi scheme conducted by attorney Scott Rothstein ... and others,” the complaint said. It was filed at the end of a day after federal agents seized Rothstein’s yacht, cars and other possessions.

In the first court document laying out the direction prosecutors are heading, the complaint said Rothstein solicited investors for falsified structured settlements. The civil complaint lays out federal authority by alleging wire transfers crossed state lines and the investment vehicles were offered nationally.

Reading the complaint, it seems implausible Rothstein could generate false wire transfer receipts and other documents all by himself:

"Further, as a fraudulent inducement to investors, Rothstein and co-conspirators falsified documents which were present to investors as proof that certain some of money were contained in those bank accounts when, in fact, the bank accounts did not contain the funds."

Indeed, at several times the complaint makes reference to Rothstein "and others" who executed the alleged Ponzi scheme. Notably, the complaint alleges that the victims were instructed to wire monies to the RRA trust account.

The complaint seems at odds with Marc's comments to the SFBJ yesterday, where he asserted that the seizures were just a routine effort to preserve assets:

He said seizures of Rothstein’s cars and boats were only done to preserve the assets, and do not mean the government has a strong case.

The Herald story David links to is not even a Ponzi scheme, it's just a straight-out alleged lawyer fraud, again difficult in my mind to execute without assistance:

Ed and Carol Morse -- who were family friends with Rothstein -- sued Boca Raton decorator Jan Jones in 2006 claiming he botched their job. Rothstein told the Morses earlier this year that they had won the breach-of-contract case and that the decorator owed them $23 million, sources said.

It wasn't true. In fact, the Morses lost the case.

Rothstein also produced purported federal court orders signed by a judge, saying the Morses could claim the judgment by seizing a Cayman Islands bank account belonging to the decorator, sources said.

There were no such court orders, nor any fat bank account, court records show.

To confiscate the money, the Fort Lauderdale lawyer allegedly told the Morses they had to post a bond 2 ½ times larger than the judgment, or $57 million, the sources said. The large amount was required as a guarantee in case bank officials confiscated the judgment from the wrong account, Rothstein told them.

So the couple wired the $57 million to Rothstein in installments earlier this year, the sources said. It is not clear whether Rothstein paid any of that money back.

Forged federal court orders? Is Scott that good with Wordperfect?

On top of everything else, after allegedly taking $57 million from the Morses, Rothstein apparently settled the suit and obligated the Morses to pay the decorator $800k(!), which naturally has not yet been satisfied either.

You know, by my count Scott has already given three interviews -- to the Herald, to Bob Norman, and to WSVN. He also briefly spoke with the DBR.

So I feel it's my turn.

Scott, if you are reading this, I'd like to conduct an interview.

Huh? Don't be such a narcissist.

It doesn't have to be an interview with you.

UPDATE: Bob Norman is reporting that -- solely according to Scott -- Judge Zloch's brother Chuck is one of Scott's three "best friends."

Not sure if that is good or bad (Ted Morse was another one).

So Marc Nurik agrees to a Herald interview of his client Scott Rothstein.

Scott says "I am sitting here smoking cigars with Marc.'' Rothstein says he's "doing pretty good."

Although Rothstein is allegedly cooperating with authorities, Marc denies over Rothstein's background laughter that Scott is talking to them:

Rothstein said Sunday he could not disclose his whereabouts because otherwise ``Marc will break my head.'' Rothstein then handed the telephone to his lawyer, Nurik, who said that, in fact, they had not been smoking cigars.

``He is under a lot of pressure,'' said Nurik, who had worked at Rothstein's law firm but stepped down to represent him. ``I don't want anybody to think he is having a good time.''

During the brief interview with Nurik, Rothstein could be heard heartily laughing in the background.

Nurik would not disclose Rothstein's whereabouts -- a Florida location that Nurik said he -- not federal authorities -- chose.

``I have him hidden,'' Nurik said. ``I'm not going to tell anybody where, including the government. I don't know where people are coming up with this stuff. I have been discussing his case with the government as any defense counsel would under these circumstances.

``I have been in contact with the government,'' Nurik said. ``My client is at an undisclosed location of my choosing and he is talking to no one but me. He hasn't even met with his family.''

Nurik declined to discuss the case, but added that Rothstein wanted to say goodbye.

``I'm doing really good,'' Rothstein said. ``Marc is a great lawyer, a great friend. We will speak when the time is right.''

Who thinks this interview helps?

Good thing Rothstein's Rabbi says everything is going to be ok.

But who is Scott's real Rabbi?

Happy Monday, folks!

I don't know about you, but I woke up full of piss 'n vinegar today.

Maybe it was the drive in to downtown this morning.

Here's what I brought with me in my luxury hermetically-sealed personal transport vehicle:

1. Large cup of freshly-brewed Sumatran coffee;
2. Various briefs and drafts I worked on over the weekend;
3. Today's NYT (and parts of Sunday), as well as the WSJ;
4. Laptop, smartphone, and my e-book reader.

I also had the ac and Led Zep's Coda on at full-blast.

I'm not proud of this, but yes -- I multitasked.

The big news this morning is Bob Norman's blockbuster reporting regarding RRA:

The Rothstein Rosenfeldt Adler law firm has hired prominent lawyer and former U.S. Attorney Kendall Coffey to represent it in what he called "very very difficult circumstances" caused by an imploding investment venture by the firm's president, Scott Rothstein, who is believed to be in Morocco.

"The allegations [against Rothstein] do not involve the firm's law practice, they involve an investment business that Scott Rothstein created," said Coffey, who contacted the Pulp this evening. "There are a number of allegations being made and I'm trying to assess the firm's position and what steps it may need to take."

When asked if the firm's lawyers feel victimized by Rothstein, Coffey answered simply, "Yes." It's a near certainty that victims of Rothstein's investment scheme will sue the law firm and possibly even individual lawyers -- whether on solid ground or not -- in an attempt to get their money back.

Coffey said the law firm will be open for business Monday, but said it's too early to tell if the firm will survive. Other sources say that the firm is filing for bankruptcy Monday.

Bob's prior coverage is here, the Herald's coverage is here, and the Sun-Sentinel (after love jobs like this one) finally gets to it here.

Not to be outdone, I covered high-flyer Scott's public embrace of expensive suits and his deep personal interest in the message communicated by associate facial hair here.

So Bob, that makes us even?

UPDATE:

Jay Weaver writes of the complaint filed today by Coffey and an email by Chief Judge Tobin:

The complaint states, ``It is with surprise and sorrow that the attorneys of Rothstein Rosenfeldt Adler, P.A., have learned that Scott W. Rothstein, the managing partner and CEO of the firm, has, according to assertions of certain investors, allegedly orchestrated a substantial misappropriation of funds from investor trust accounts that made use of the law firm's name.''

The case will be heard at 4 p.m. before Judge Jeffrey Streitfeld.

Rothstein's partner, Stuart Rosenfeldt, is seeking immediate judicial action to facilitate the investigation of investor funds.

The firm was founded by Rosenfeldt and Rothstein in 2002 and currently employs more than 70 lawyers.

The complaint also states that a review of the firm's records undertaken this past weekend showed various funds that were controlled by Rothstein could not be accounted for. ``Some investors allege that defendant Rothstein may have been fabricating nonexistent structured legal settlements for sale to investors,'' the claim states.

Rothstein's actions were done without any knowledge of any other attorneys at the firm. ``And, in fact, Rothstein actively endeavored to hide the existence of the scheme,'' the claim says. Rosenfeldt and other lawyers only learned about the allegations several days ago, they said.

Broward Chief Judge Vic Tobin sent an email at 6:45 a.m. to judges about the Rothstein case.

`'I learned of some very distressing news yesterday....,'' Tobin wrote. ``Whoever draws the case try to set the motion today because of the amount of clients and money involved. Also if you have a case with te firm please be patient. I don;t know if they lawyers will come or not and if they do come there is no money at this point to go forward with the case or pay firm employees.''

Tobin also write that there may be ``multiple filing of receivership motions'' and that creditors may also file a motion.

News crews were outside the law firm's Las Olas Boulevard office in Fort Lauderdale Monday. They were not allowed access to the firm's office. No one was answering the phone at the firm.

Gotta love South Florida.