Kidney-selling Rabbis?

Oy, oy, and triple-oy.

And I thought Turistas was far-fetched.

Well I doublechecked and as far as I know, I am not in violation of any trial orders, pleading deadlines, or discovery rules.

Yet.

Before I go, I want to say thank you to Lew Freeman for that great shin-dig the other day -- it was Titanic, buddy.

So let's get the weekend started right, and as per usual I will be engaged in a host of perfunctory and rather mundane activities, such as investigating new cloud-seeding methods in India, discussing an open city manager position in Ft. Myers Beach, and having a nice date with my new 2-D girlfriend.

Actually, I prefer all five dimensions, but then I'm old school.

Stay gold all you legal Ponyboys and have a great weekend!

So Reverend Cutie Reverend Cutie Reverend Cutie Reverend Cutie Reverend Cutie everyone!

I'm hesitant to add to the massive amount of digital ink that has been spilled on this slightly overreported story, but I am quite sure the handsome South Beach canoodler is the perfect guy to carry the anti-celibacy message to the new Pope -- who recently restored the pre-Vatican II prayer for conversion of the Jews and also may or may not have been a former Nazi.

Hey, makes sense to me -- I live in Florida!

Anyone still into mortgage fraud? Boy those were the days.

Anyways, I see there has been an update in that odd story I reported on earlier involving UM Law grad Delaila Estefano -- looks like she has been suspended indefinitely pending disposition of the criminal case.

Anyone who knows more on this story, feel free to contact me directly.

Holy hail, look at that -- DBR ace John Pacenti nabbed an exclusive interview with the notoriously media-shy Lew Freeman!

Lew, don't let me down -- I need some screwball metaphors stat! I need some non sequiturs and I need them now! I need one (or two, or three) Titanic references and they better be good:

“We are in the eye of the hurricane. This is the calm,” Freeman said.

Ok, this time he went with a naturally-occuring disaster. What else:

“That’s the trend we are going to see in the future: The superhero of the court system and litigation,” Freeman said.

Superhero? But Lew, they're all ambivalent, conflicted and moody nowadays.

Let's have something classy and high-road to finish up with:

“There’s so much backed up that when it comes out we are going to need hip boots,” he said. “It’s going to stink, and it’s going to be deep.”

"And I'm just talking about breakfast," Freeman added.

Oy -- you may want to revisit the Titanic references there, Lew.

Two independent facts confirm in my mind that it's great to be a lawyer -- (1) an apparent lawyer is suing Twitter on behalf of Levi Johnston; and (2) Governor Crist appointed Scott Rothstein to be on the 4th DCA Judicial Nominating Commission.

These are end times, peoples.

Speaking of Scott, no one could be more thrilled by the timing and intensity of the media coverage than The Metaphor Man, Lew Freeman.

While everyone has been busy discussing Scott's gadgets, over-the-top luxury items, and a secretive lair right out of an old Bond movie, Lew has been quietly trying to get things straight.

For example, Freeman dismissed the ill-advised tax suit against the U.S. government.

(Probably should not have filed it in the first place).

And Lew's possessions just went on the auction block, including artwork of W.C. Fields, Groucho Marx, Charlie Chaplin, and George Burns.

You can see an inventory list here.

Now say what you want, but there is no question Lew has much better taste than ole' Scotty boy, who needed to own at least seven overpriced watches.

Lew, on the other hand, had framed Caddyshack and Boston Legal posters and a letter from Sam Ervin.

Score one for Lew!

Hold the presses, people.

In a surprise move, Bowman Brown has agreed to discuss the Stanford case in the media:

“This thing has gotten so many hydra-like heads,” said Bowman Brown, an international banking attorney with Shutts & Bowen in Miami who represents Stanford clients.

How in the world did John Pacenti coax Bowman out?

But the metaphors don't stop with Hydra-like anecdotes:

“It’s futile. It’s like suing yourself,” Brown said.

And this:

“This is going to be very complicated, probably more complicated than the Madoff receivership,” Brown said. “This isn’t a slam dunk.”

Amazingly, John was also somehow able to elicit an on-the-record quote from the notoriously press-shy Lew Freeman!

Knowing the metaphors are coming fast and furious, and not to be outdone, Lew returned to his old standby, the sturdy Titanic imagery:

“After the receiver does his investigation, the receiver makes a business judgment that these assets missed getting on the Titanic,” he said.

Respectfully, Lew, there are other nautical disasters besides the Titanic. For example, you could say, "this whole Stanford thing is like going to bed at night and winding up on the Andrea Doria."

Or, "an investor at this point has to feel like he booked a round trip ticket on the Lusitania."

Oh it's going to be a great week!

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Wow, Jordana Mishory reports this shocker:

In a stunning collapse, South Florida attorney and receiver Lewis Freeman went to court today to put his firm out of business and liquidate amid a federal investigation trying to trace $3.6 million from accounts overseen by the firm.

Miami-Dade Circuit Judge Victoria Sigler signed the order to shut down Lewis B. Freeman & Partners and place the firm in receivership under the control of another veteran South Florida receiver, Kenneth A. Welt of Hollywood.

Freeman, a lawyer and forensic accountant, h has often been slected over the years by federal and state judges as a receiver or trustee whenever companies went bust or were plagued by fraud. He did not return a call for comment.

I actually feel bad about this.

It was obvious that the FBI raid effectively ended Lew's receivership practice, as you cannot appoint someone to be a receiver or even an expert who is currently under federal investigation.

And while the full import is unknown of placing his entire business under receivership at the same time the FBI is tracing the firm's expenditures, it's hard to see this as a positive development.

Our thoughts and good wishes go out to Lew and the many professionals we know and respect over at his shop.

Well, you know I need a steam shovel mama to keep away the dead
I need a dump truck mama to unload my head
She brings me everything and more, and just like I said
Well, if I go down dyin', you know she bound to put a blanket on my bed.

I've got a lot clanging around in my head this morning, and no desire or inclination to organize any of it in a coherent fashion. So let's do this:

1. Did you all hear about the fireworks at the 11th Circuit en banc arguments on Tuesday? Barkett v. Pryor on en banc review of a panel decision that included our very own Judge Altonaga sitting by designation.

The best part? There were even swear words!

It's ok, if you missed the pay per view they will be reairing it on HBO Saturday night, complete with ringside commentary by Jim Lampley.

2. The cute redhead from NBC's Community is an exact doppelganger of the cute redhead from PCU.

3. A followup to the ERISA post from yesterday -- as I mentioned David did a nice job with the 10b-5 arguments, as well as the PSLRA heightened, Iqbal-esque pleading standard.

It's funny now to see corporations who for many years used the PSLRA as a shield are now finding it used against them in the auction-rate security debacle:

The biggest losers so far are corporations that bought the paper but now find they are not covered by settlements some Wall Street firms made to reimburse individual investors. But there are still individuals who are stuck with the securities, either because their brokerage firm refused to settle or because they moved from one firm to another and found that neither firm was willing to reimburse them.

Some of those corporate purchasers may recall the old saying, “Be careful what you ask for. You might get it.” Those buyers of this paper are finding they cannot successfully sue because of a 1995 law that was strongly backed by corporate America as a way to curb frivolous lawsuits.

That law, the Private Securities Litigation Reform Act, says that a case, when filed, must be very specific about the fraud that is alleged, or it will be immediately dismissed. In many cases, a plaintiff would need access to inside information to make such a claim with enough detail. Such information could be there in company files, but the plaintiff has no way to get at it before the case is thrown out.

4. You know what I think of this Lew Freeman story?

This is a Titanic injustice, it's like the FBI wanted to set some sort of transatlantic speed record and just started rearranging deck chairs, and then somebody else called for hip boots and we all somehow wound up stuck in the Twilight Zone.

(Other than that, I have no comment.)

5. I don't know about you, but I am already sick to death of the sudden mania over "sliders."

Everywhere I go I see or hear people talking about "sliders." The 8 Ounce Burger Bar even has a "flight" of sliders -- like scotch but with more grease.

Folks, they are small burgers. You know, like "flat bread" is bread that is flat. That is all.

And there's nothing new about them -- remember Krystal from college, or Royal Castle?

But I guess if you got excited over a smushed piece of bread you're going to go nutso over an extra small burger.

6. I see I am not the only one still thinking about Hitler.

Happy Simcha Torah everybody!

Everyone by now is familiar with Lew Freeman's love of Titanic metaphors. You can see a few of Lew's greatest Titanic hits here, here and here.

But like any good stand-up or forensic accountant, you got to keep your material fresh.

Making tentative baby steps, Lew recently branched out from the "nautical disaster" metaphor genre and went straight for the popular backed up sewage reference.

Now, no longer satisfied with likening financial fraud to tragedies at sea or massive amounts of bodily waste, Lew has embraced classics from TV's Golden Age:

“It’s one of these bizarre things,” Freeman said. “This involves something I was briefly involved in 10 years ago. I met with the IRS five years ago and I thought this was resolved. That this is coming back now, I feel like this is something from the Twilight Zone.”

I thought for sure once Lew said "[t]hat this is coming back now" we were in for another bowel-movement or possible stomach indigestion reference.

Lew, I think you surprised many of us by going with a high-brow Rod Serling.

Well done, sir.