When presenting at a Motion for Temporary Orders, Restraining Order, Motion to Vacate, or similar hearing the Court will typically hear argument from parties or counsel without a full evidentiary hearing. This means that the Judge will make a decision that could significantly affect your life after having only 10-15 minutes to learn what is going on.

I tell clients to pay attention to everything the Judge does during that hearing to get a clue as to what the Judge might be thinking and how they might rule. When they are looking at you, when they are writing, and what questions they ask, are all clues as to what is important to the Judge.

Similarly, the Judge is watching everything you do during that hearing. Since the Judge only has 10-15 minutes to assess your credibility as a witness everything you are doing matters as well. Judges are not just listening to what you say, but how you say it. In addition, the way you react to the allegations of the other party can be crucial to your case. For example, if a hearing is about your inability to control your temper and you react to every negative comment by the opposing party by whispering to your attorney, or shaking your head, then you are showing the Judge that you can't control yourself. We speak volumes with our body language and how we carry ourselves. In the short amount of time the Judge is trying to get a feeling about you everything you say matters, whether you say it literally, or you say it indirectly with your body language.

One Judge in Canada may have gone too far in admitting what he really thinks. A recent Time article highlights the lengthy decision of a family-court Judge in Ontario who called out a particularly vindictive couple for their abhorrent behavior. Although the decision was probably well-deserved the Judge may have let his frustration with the couple distract from the typical judicial demeanor.

Just because other Judges don't typically write decisions so bluntly, doesn't mean they don't have the same thoughts about some of their cases. In fact, having been involved in a number of cases which included unnecessarily petty behavior by the litigants I am sure the Judges in those instances wished they could write a decision like this.

If common sense doesn't make you stop your vindictive or angry responses in a divorce case, then at least try to remember that the Judge will hear about this behavior and it can only hurt your chances of convincing the Judge of the merits of your case.