Blog of law articles

It's pretty much well-known that I adore Nazi gnomes.

That's why I was thrilled to see this nice gentleman from Nuremberg and his noncontroversial garden gnome that just happens to be performing the Hitler salute.

Seriously, what better way to highlight your gardenias and perennials than a gleaming golden gnome paying tribute to Der Fuhrer?

Oh well, sorry I was busy today performing Important Legal Stuff, but I am now heading out for a glorious weekend filled with wet hot American windsurfing.

I hope you do the same.

Before I go, let's give a hand to Willy Ferrer, David Buckner, and Daryl Trawick -- three wonderfully qualified candidates short-listed for US Attorney.

I know each of these guys, and any one of them would do a tremendous job.

Willie -- I have seen you dance, so you get my nod buddy.

So off I go for weekend fun, to ponder why Dylan lost Jimmy Carter, why Crist wants to be a Senator but has no opinion on Sotomayor, and why this guy's claim is not preempted by the Dumb Dentist and His Dental Devices Act:

On Oct. 4, 2006, while he was performing work on Gaal, Meyers dropped an "implant screwdriver tool" down the patient's throat.

Gaal swallowed the tool and two days later, he underwent a colonoscopy. The tool was removed from his intestines, the suit said.

On May 1, 2007, Gaal visited Meyers because he had a sore mouth. Meyers wanted to remove a "ball" attachment on an implant.

It was during that procedure that Meyers dropped a "mini-wrench" into Gaal's throat, which the patient swallowed. Also, Meyers lost a "ball attachment," which he presumed Gaal also swallowed, the lawsuit said.

Gaal underwent multiple medical procedures. The tool was spotted in his lung.

His chest cavity was cracked open, part of his left lung was removed and the tool was found. The ball was never recovered.

Gaal never fully recovered and was in "grave medical condition," the lawsuit said. He suffered a "cardiac event" on June 13, 2007, which required resuscitation. On June 19, 2007, he died.

First of all, I'm nearly certain the FDA has extensively regulated dental "mini-wrenches," and just because one falls into Mr. Gaal's throat does not mean each state can impose its own liability scheme on these miraculous examples of technological innovation.

Second, Mr. Gaal got exactly what he contracted for -- his teeth looked great! -- and simply because he got a free colonoscopy to boot is no reason to abuse the court system and raise everyone's insurance rates.

And remember, whatever you do this weekend, there is always time to ponder why JFK was just that cool, why exercise is so important, and why the British are just a bunch of randy wankers.

Don't forget -- put your hands on something nice while you're at it -- that may be what you wind up doing after law school.

Have a great weekend everybody!